Monday, August 10, 2009

50 Hurting Experience You Get From Loving

Who said loving is all a bed of roses? I think when you surrender yourself to love, it also means you are risking yourself to getting hurt. Endurng the pain may sometimes helps you love wiser and unconditionally. So here are some things you get from loving that I got from Simple Life Freak.

1. Letting go of a person you've just learned to love
2. Reminiscing the good times you shared together
3. Shielding your heart to love somebody
4. Trying to hide what you really feel
5. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes
6. Loving a person too much
7. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up
8. Having the right love at the wrong time
9. Taking the risk to fall in love again
10. Hiding your relationship from someone else
11. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend
12. Thinking of him/her every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he/she never even thinks a single thought of you...
13. Letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper
14. Holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out
15. Falling in love with someone you didn't mean to fall in love with
16. Finding the perfect guy/girl...with only one problem--- he/she doesn't love you...the way you want him/her to...
17. Helping the one you love "court" your friend / helping your friend "court" the one you love
18. Seeing the one you love crying for someone else
19. Waiting also hurts like hell
20. Having to hear "... I've met someone"
21. Agreeing to his/her wish to 'just be friends'.
22. Asking his/her freedom back bcoz 'he'd/she'd be happier with him/her'
23. Asking you to 'forget that everything happened' and be 'normal' friends again.
24. Hearing that you're treated as a little bro/sis (ouch!)
25. Sharing his/her future plans for the guy/girl with you.
26. You stopped being friends bcoz his gf/her bf asked him/her to.
27. Being denied in front of people.
28. Telling you lies where he'd/she'd been when actually, he/she was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame' (whew!)
29. He/she told you he'd/she'd be leaving you to return to his/her ex? The one he/she left for you!
30. Breaking someone's heart
31. Fighting for that one thing that would make you happy that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his/her commitment unless he/she fix himself/herself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he/she says, time will tell... ang labo lang niya...but you still decided to hope in him/her and trust him/her
32. Pretending you're OK when inside you're dying...
33. Pretending to be strong.... and recognizing your weakness
34. Lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have...
35. Being with someone you can't actually love...
36. Pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...
37. Being in love...
38. Letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are hurting because it was your decision
39. Seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...
40. Having the courage to say "I LOVE YOU" to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he/she doesn't treat you with the same closeness as before
41. Having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
42. Admitting that you love someone despite his/her imperfections
43. Finding out that the more you try to hate him/her, the more you end up loving him/her, perhaps even more than before
44. Realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.
45. The thought that this guy/girl, used to really love you and you loved him/her as well but you didn't give enough and he/she gave up on you
46. Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else....."
47. Making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered....the commitment is no longer there...
48. Violating your parents' rules for that someone that you love.
49. Leaving your long-time friends because the one you love cannot accept them.
50. The hardest thing about love - believing it

Monday, August 3, 2009

It's Easy to Feel Jealous


I was struck with my facebook friend's status on why Trust is just too hard to give while jealousy is too easy to feel. It does makes sense. It is hard to give our trust again and we prevent ourselves from doing so but we allow ourselves to feel jealousy.

According to, jealousy is an emotion, a negative thought or feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Is it healthy or not? Is there a right moment to feel jealous?

Most often, this emotion is a silent killer in every relationship. We dwell on this negative feeling and allow ourselves to do silly things associated with this thought that we regret later on. It's irritating and painful to be jealous (especially if you suppress it) or be the recipient of it.

And I think if there is assurance and security in a relationship, it helps one to avoid feeling jealous.

*Photo credit to Kemao of deviantart.

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Missing Rib


I want to share this nice story that I found over DSIM's blog while doing my entrecard dropping. I think it's an inspiring story that shares to us that PRIDE and ANGER influences us to make hasty decisions out of impulsiveness. And usually regrets from this decision takes place later on wherein we then realized the importance of one's worth in our lives when it's already too late to reunite. Time is truly essential in our lives. Let's open our hearts and minds and learn from this story.

A girl in love asked her boyfriend...

Girl : Tell me... whom do you love most in this world?
Boy : You, of course!
Girl : In your heart, what am I to you?

Boy : The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. In the Bible, it was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep; God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life; you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems... their life became mundane.... All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other...The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house... At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"

The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"

Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while...He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up. Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go...She continued, "It is less painful this way... let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners."

Five years went by....

He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly...She had left the country and back... She had married a foreigner and divorced...He felt anguished that she never waited for him. In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met... At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good-byes...He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.

Boy: How are you?
Girl: I'm fine. How about you - have you found your missing rib?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'll be flying to New York on the next flight.
Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back... You know my number... Nothing has changed.

With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye... Good-bye.....One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York - in the event that shocked the world (9/11).

Midnight... he lit another cigarette... And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart....He finally knew, she was the missing rib that he had carelessly discarded and thrown away ...

Sometimes, people say things in of moments of fury... More often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental...We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones...And even though we know that we ought to "think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done. Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control.... Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives.... Tomorrow may never come; give and accept what you have today.

"Men stumble over pebbles, never over mountains."
- Emilie Cady

*Photo credit to rude_and_reckless of deviantart.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Engaged Couples With The Same Name


While browsing online awhile ago, it was amazing to have read this certain article that there is a couple who have the same name who will be getting married sometime this October. Kelly Hildebrandt, a girl from Coral Springs and Kelly Hildebrandt from Lubbock, Texas, met on Facebook. Both were searching for people on facebook with the same name as theirs. These two started to exchanged messages and met personally. They felt a romantic connection between them and now they are looking forward for their wedding this year. How lovely! More of their love story here.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Waiting For Something is Hard


"it's hard to wait around for something that you know might not happen but it's even harder to give up,when you know it's everything you ever wanted."

*Photo credit to louvre89 of deviantart.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Be In Control

Here's an interesting post I found in facebook about men. I think this post has a sense in it that women should take into consideration in dealing with men. We should be more in control of ourselves and shouldn't be under control of someone else especially with men. And no, I'm not a man hater. Haha.

  • If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
  • If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
  • Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
  • Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
  • Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
  • Slower is better.
  • Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
  • If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
  • A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
  • If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
  • Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
  • You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
  • The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
  • Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
  • He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
  • Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
  • Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
  • If something bothers you, speak up.
  • Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
  • You cannot change a man's behavior.
  • Change comes from within.
  • Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
  • Do not make him into a quasi-god.
  • He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
  • Never let a man define who you are.
  • Never borrow someone else's man.
  • If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
  • A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
  • All men are NOT dogs.
  • You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
  • You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...
  • Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
  • You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
  • a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
  • look for someone complimentary...
  • not supplementary.
  • Dating is fun...
  • even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
  • Make him miss you sometimes...
  • when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
  • Never move into his mother's house.
  • Never co-sign for a man.
  • Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
  • Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Trusting Again...

Back in college, I learned that in our infancy stage, we develop TRUST. It's as simple as the form of crying when we were hungry or peed in our diapers that we get our parents' attention. And by their loving response of feeding us and of changing our diapers we learn to trust them.

But as we were growing, certain factors has affected our ability to trust people. Especially when we have been hurt, cheated and betrayed in the past that we learn to build a wall within ourselves to protect us from getting hurt again. But as I was watching Bo Sanchez's preach, I was inspired with his words of encouragement that we need to trust other people again carefully despite our trusting issues.

With that we'll learn to live our life fully and grow. In reality, people in our lives come and go. And there will always be some people who will betray us, cheat on us and even hurt us again. But there are also good people.

According to Bo, if you don't trust and risk getting hurt, you won't received blessings. Learn to open yourself to others, lower your defenses and learn to trust again. Life is a risk. Risking yourself of getting hurt again is the same as risking yourself to be loved again.

*Photo credit to *gabbyd70 of deviantart.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I Need A Man Who Can't Be Moved

Isn't it flattering to know that your man is going to wait for you no matter what happens? He 's still inlove with you after years has passed. It may sound unrealistic but I think there's quite a number of them that exists. I need a man who can't be moved despite of his heartaches he's still hoping and waiting for me to come back. How mushy me! Haha. But that's what this song is about, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script.

Monday, June 15, 2009

10 Habits of A Loving Couple

As a couple, getting used to being thoughtful, loving and caring with each other helps your relationship to grow. It is important for the couple to show each other their love and care for each other because we all need assurance and security from our partner.

According to Alanna Webb, romance is a way to express your love, the icing on the cake... but don't wait for special occasions to express your love. Make sure that you nurture your loving relationship by practicing these basic habits in your day-to-day life. These may seem very basic, but how many do you do? Don't despair... it's never too late to adopt good, loving habits.

1. Say 'I Love You' at least once a day. Your partner does need to hear the words.

2. Kiss good-bye and hello. Throw in a hug while you're at it.

3. 'Date' your partner for the rest of your lives. Treat your partner even better than when you were dating... Remember that you are sweethearts ~ * open her door * straighten his tie * hold out her chair * hold hands when you're walking together

4. Don't sweat the small stuff. You can let his/her bad habits bother you to distraction... or you can accept them, and work around them. Does she leave the cap off the toothpaste? Buy separate tubes... Does he leave clothes laying around? Ignore them, or pick them up, remembering just how much he does for you in other ways. Or, make it easier for your partner to satisfy you... buy several clothes hampers and keep them handy. ;-)

5. Concentrate on the positive. Instead of thinking about the ways that s/he lets you down, think of all the positive things about your partner that drew you to them in the first place.

6. Take a breather when you're mad. Don't try to talk when either of you are angry. Take a few minutes to walk around the block, lay down, just get away from each other so you can regroup. A short break will allow you both to stay on track and discuss what's bothering you instead of accidently making personal insults that you will regret later.

7. Don't use your partner's secrets or weaknesses against them... ever! What may seem insignificant, trivial, or cute to you may be serious to your partner. Recognize what is important to your partner, and don't discuss it with your friends, mother, his family, anyone! And certainly don't throw the words back at them in an argument. A loving relationship is one of the most intimate and trusting that anyone can have.

8. Think about your partner first. If both of you do this, then you can't help but win! Say 'yes' to your partner as often as possible... go to that sports event with him, get him out on that golf course because he loves golf, make life easier for your partner, and hopefully they will do the same for you!

9. R-E-S-P-E-C-T your partner. Don't badmouth your partner to anyone! When you talk about your partner, let your respect and love shine through.

10. Find a way to regroup together every day. Discover what works well for you both... eat a meal together, meet for happy hour drinks, skip Leno at night and just lay in bed in the dark, take a walk around the block, etc. You can even mix things up and vary your routine. If one of you is travelling, call home at night just to hear their voice. The point is to spend time together daily, just talking or breathing the same air, feeling connected.

Remember... the more you put into your relationship, the more you gain! Make love and romance a part of your daily life!

*Credit to Suzette Gin of Multiply and photo credit to obscurity_n of deviantart.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Decoding Women's Words

They say women mostly doesn't mean what they say. Men often find this annoying or even confusing. To help out men, here's a few tips on how to decode women's use of words and what they really mean...

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

*Content credits to Suzette Gin of Multiply.

*Photo credit to DragonLarme of deviantart.

Monday, June 1, 2009

A Soulful Relationship

It's not easy to be in a relationship and to keep your love alive. But having a soulful relationship is essential as it requires both partners to love each other unconditionally. In a soulful relationship, love allows itself to grow and allowing each party to be who he/she is. It's not controlling nor manipulating.

Here's what Rev. Ronald McFadden's say about soulful relationship...

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.

*Photo credit to =Nowherexbutxhere of deviantart.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Secrets of A Successful Relationship

Maintaining a good relationship requires both partners to constantly work on it. Trials and shortcomings are part of the relationship and overcoming these help strengthen the relationship's foundation. But there are a lot of couples out there who wants to know the secrets of a successful relationship. And here are the tips I found on the internet.

The FIRST secret - the power of THOUGHT
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider his or her needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.

The SECOND secret - the power of RESPECT
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first Respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect, ask yourself, What do I respect about myself?
To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, What do I respect about them?

The THIRD secret - the power of GIVING
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To Love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship, ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The FOURTH secret - the power of FRIENDSHIP
To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love him or her for who they are and not for what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The FIFTH secret - the power of TOUCH
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The SIXTH secret - the power of LETTING GO
If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life.

The SEVENTH secret - the power of COMMUNICATION
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: " I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see him or her. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the
people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and why are you waiting?

The EIGHTH secret - the power of COMMITMENT
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the TRUE test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The NINTH secret - the power of PASSION
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be re-created by re-creating past experiences. When you felt passionate spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The TENTH secret - the power of TRUST
Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you can trust him or her completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, Do I trust them completely and unreservedly? If the answer is no -, think carefully before making a commitment.

*Credit to Suzette Gin of Multiply.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Caveman Response...

As a woman, I myself don't understand how men thinks. There are times that when we get into arguments with our partner, our boo will suddenly tell us they wanted space or perhaps they wanted some cool time off and worst is, they'll left you hanging then comes back. Of course for us, it's irritating, annoying and disrespectful for them to do it because we think we deserve an explanation. And if there are problems, we want to talk about it. But some guys just don't want that, they don't feel comfortable with confrontations. And so consciously or not, they withdraw.

Then they'll go to their cave to reflect. And I'm not referring literally to the cave, it's just a figure of speech. It's like they wanted to have time for themselves, do the things they want, be with their friends and just have some time to think things alone. It's their coping mechanism, I think if that's the appropriate word for that.

And if we keep on pushing in, forcing them to understand us, to talk things out and just ran after them, the more they'll keep their distance from us. The longer that they'll retreat. But if we understand this trait of them, the shorter they will be in their caves, the shorter they'll have time to think and most likely they'll appreciate the space you gave them and comes back to you.

Of course it is annoying if they do that. Come back to us like nothing happened. We deserve an explanation and what happens is, we confront them. And it may lead to another argument. The result is, either they won't come back the next time they cave in or they won't cave in because of fear that they'll be confronted again and worst is, if they don't have time to go to their caves...they tend to keep their emotions, concerns, frets and worries and there will come a time that they will just explode.'s easy to understand that but I know it's hard to do that. Therefore, "Patience is a virtue". Thanks to various books available to help us understand how men thinks.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Rebound Relationships

Have you been in a rebound relationship?

A rebound relationship occurs shortly after a break-up of a significant love relationship. It's usually preceded by a long term relationship. It can even occur during your significant love relationship when you tend to emotionally distant yourself away from your partner.

Rebounding is masking your pain from the current break up by engaging in a relationship expecting that your new partner will help you heal the pain you are feeling, or expecting that the current one will make up for the lost love you once had.

It's purpose is a distraction. Keeping your focus away from your past love and giving your attention to your new partner to help you forget the former. It's a misguided attempt to move on. You are faking your emotions and may hurt the other person in the long run. This can be a lot more fun than dealing with your broken heart. A person may or not be aware that he/she is rebounding. Often times, they're on denial.

*Photo Credit to ~LadybirdM of Deviantart.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Avoiding 7 Year Itch...

I think it's normal for every long term relationship to feel boredom or dissatisfaction within the years since you get accustomed with each other. And so I was browsing online and was searching for ways to avoid this 7 year itch.

There are seven ways to combat this according to Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz of

  1. Understand that infatuation with another person and the temptation to betray the trust of the one you love is a perfectly normal feeling when it comes to love and marriage. Getting hitched to another person doesn’t make you less human. It does, in many ways, make you more human – more in touch with your feelings and emotions. Accept the feelings.
  2. Do not under any circumstances act on those infatuation and temptation impulses until you have taken the time to fully think through the consequences if you make that choice. Cheating on your spouse or loved one can be and often is deadly to your relationship. Rebuilding trust is nearly impossible after committing such an indiscretion.
  3. Recognize that continuing and recurring fantasies and infatuations about another person is a strong indicator of something amiss in your relationship with your spouse or lover. These feelings are often associated with a deep-seated problem in your relationship that must be addressed before it is too late.
  4. The “turn the corner rule” as we like to refer to it—is to address the issue head-on with your loving partner. Failure to do so will doom your relationship to the ash-heap of lost love. There is pain to be sure when you address the issues that are destroying your loving relationship, but to not do so will be even more painful, we guarantee it!
  5. You and your lover may discover in rule 4 that love is tough. It is sometimes unforgiving. Frankly, sometimes you determine that your loving relationship is lost. But more likely, you discover that you truly love your spouse and that you cannot imagine life without them. You find out what so many before have discovered – you love your mate so much you cannot under any circumstances let them go. You must save this relationship by committing to the hard work it will take to rebuild the love.
  6. Seek help! Find some neutral party to talk to. Sometimes couples turn to a marriage counselor. Others turn to “self-help” websites. Truth is, much of what you need to learn can be self-taught. You can learn to do what you have to do to make your relationship work by reading what others, including us, have discovered. Being educators at heart, we especially like the latter. More often than not, you can learn so much about yourself and your loving relationship by “discovering” what others have already learned!
  7. Sometimes we have to “fish or cut bait.” The reality is that some marriages and loving relationships cannot be saved. They are doomed. They must end to the mutual benefit of both and to the many that are affected by the relationship. It is time to move on. But in the end, an examination of your relationship will hopefully reveal that your relationship is worth saving. More often than not, it can be saved. You should always work towards that end if you are to avoid the Seven-Year Itch.

Credits to: Self Growth

Thursday, May 14, 2009

7 Year Itch...

I heard these words several times back then, but now I realized that it's true to some. Several people have told me that there is that thing called the 7 year based on their experience, other people's experience and according to a research conducted by psychologists which can be found on the web.

But what exactly is this 7 year itch?

In relationships they say, that at the first few years of the relationship is the honeymoon stage. We can overlook our partner's weaknesses and imperfections but at the 7th year of the relationship, one gets tired of their mate. Probably due to boredom or dissatisfaction.

A friend of mine once said that if a couple undergoes the 7 year itch, it's considered to be the judgment stage whether or not to continue the relationship. Another friend of mine shared that every seven years of our life, there are major changes that will happen including in the relationships.

It's scary to think about it. But can we avoid this 7 year itch thing?

Does anyone of you experience this itch? Tell me more about it...

*Photo credit to HIME3181 of Deviantart.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Another Updates...

Now you can leave your messages on my chatbox from I've customized it according to my templates' theme. I appreciate it if you leave your messages in my chatbox rather than from the comment post if it is not related to any of my posts.

Another thing is the blogroll. A blogroll of blogs that I own. You can see the recent posts as well as the thumbnails there. I haven't made a blogroll for blogger friends and exchange links yet. But if you're open for exchange links, just let me know. c",)

Blog Updates...

There I've written my first entry for this new haven of mine. Another improvements for this site are the feedjit stats and the tracker. Mainly to know my live traffic stats for this blog.

There are a lot of things to add up here but since I'm already sleepy at this moment, I might as well continue my developments after I get enough rest. See you soon! c",)

A New Blog...

Here's a new blog for me. There's no particular niche for this blog. It's another personal site of mine, but I guess mushier than my other blogs. Anyways, I really don't know what to write in here. I just had the urge to make a another blog and here it is.

Simply complicated...describes me as a person. Simply because, I'm just like any other woman out there who undergo mood changes. Well, it's more related to hormonal thingy and not the psychotic thing, got it?

You're free to visit my site and comment with the post as you like but please try to remain nice and tactful, okay? If you don't like it here, then you're free to leave. c",)

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