Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Caveman Response...

As a woman, I myself don't understand how men thinks. There are times that when we get into arguments with our partner, our boo will suddenly tell us they wanted space or perhaps they wanted some cool time off and worst is, they'll left you hanging then comes back. Of course for us, it's irritating, annoying and disrespectful for them to do it because we think we deserve an explanation. And if there are problems, we want to talk about it. But some guys just don't want that, they don't feel comfortable with confrontations. And so consciously or not, they withdraw.

Then they'll go to their cave to reflect. And I'm not referring literally to the cave, it's just a figure of speech. It's like they wanted to have time for themselves, do the things they want, be with their friends and just have some time to think things alone. It's their coping mechanism, I think if that's the appropriate word for that.

And if we keep on pushing in, forcing them to understand us, to talk things out and just ran after them, the more they'll keep their distance from us. The longer that they'll retreat. But if we understand this trait of them, the shorter they will be in their caves, the shorter they'll have time to think and most likely they'll appreciate the space you gave them and comes back to you.

Of course it is annoying if they do that. Come back to us like nothing happened. We deserve an explanation and what happens is, we confront them. And it may lead to another argument. The result is, either they won't come back the next time they cave in or they won't cave in because of fear that they'll be confronted again and worst is, if they don't have time to go to their caves...they tend to keep their emotions, concerns, frets and worries and there will come a time that they will just explode.'s easy to understand that but I know it's hard to do that. Therefore, "Patience is a virtue". Thanks to various books available to help us understand how men thinks.


Anonymous said...

ohhhh try me,,,expell all others...


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