Monday, June 29, 2009

Trusting Again...

Back in college, I learned that in our infancy stage, we develop TRUST. It's as simple as the form of crying when we were hungry or peed in our diapers that we get our parents' attention. And by their loving response of feeding us and of changing our diapers we learn to trust them.

But as we were growing, certain factors has affected our ability to trust people. Especially when we have been hurt, cheated and betrayed in the past that we learn to build a wall within ourselves to protect us from getting hurt again. But as I was watching Bo Sanchez's preach, I was inspired with his words of encouragement that we need to trust other people again carefully despite our trusting issues.

With that we'll learn to live our life fully and grow. In reality, people in our lives come and go. And there will always be some people who will betray us, cheat on us and even hurt us again. But there are also good people.

According to Bo, if you don't trust and risk getting hurt, you won't received blessings. Learn to open yourself to others, lower your defenses and learn to trust again. Life is a risk. Risking yourself of getting hurt again is the same as risking yourself to be loved again.

*Photo credit to *gabbyd70 of deviantart.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I Need A Man Who Can't Be Moved

Isn't it flattering to know that your man is going to wait for you no matter what happens? He 's still inlove with you after years has passed. It may sound unrealistic but I think there's quite a number of them that exists. I need a man who can't be moved despite of his heartaches he's still hoping and waiting for me to come back. How mushy me! Haha. But that's what this song is about, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script.

Monday, June 15, 2009

10 Habits of A Loving Couple

As a couple, getting used to being thoughtful, loving and caring with each other helps your relationship to grow. It is important for the couple to show each other their love and care for each other because we all need assurance and security from our partner.

According to Alanna Webb, romance is a way to express your love, the icing on the cake... but don't wait for special occasions to express your love. Make sure that you nurture your loving relationship by practicing these basic habits in your day-to-day life. These may seem very basic, but how many do you do? Don't despair... it's never too late to adopt good, loving habits.

1. Say 'I Love You' at least once a day. Your partner does need to hear the words.

2. Kiss good-bye and hello. Throw in a hug while you're at it.

3. 'Date' your partner for the rest of your lives. Treat your partner even better than when you were dating... Remember that you are sweethearts ~ * open her door * straighten his tie * hold out her chair * hold hands when you're walking together

4. Don't sweat the small stuff. You can let his/her bad habits bother you to distraction... or you can accept them, and work around them. Does she leave the cap off the toothpaste? Buy separate tubes... Does he leave clothes laying around? Ignore them, or pick them up, remembering just how much he does for you in other ways. Or, make it easier for your partner to satisfy you... buy several clothes hampers and keep them handy. ;-)

5. Concentrate on the positive. Instead of thinking about the ways that s/he lets you down, think of all the positive things about your partner that drew you to them in the first place.

6. Take a breather when you're mad. Don't try to talk when either of you are angry. Take a few minutes to walk around the block, lay down, just get away from each other so you can regroup. A short break will allow you both to stay on track and discuss what's bothering you instead of accidently making personal insults that you will regret later.

7. Don't use your partner's secrets or weaknesses against them... ever! What may seem insignificant, trivial, or cute to you may be serious to your partner. Recognize what is important to your partner, and don't discuss it with your friends, mother, his family, anyone! And certainly don't throw the words back at them in an argument. A loving relationship is one of the most intimate and trusting that anyone can have.

8. Think about your partner first. If both of you do this, then you can't help but win! Say 'yes' to your partner as often as possible... go to that sports event with him, get him out on that golf course because he loves golf, make life easier for your partner, and hopefully they will do the same for you!

9. R-E-S-P-E-C-T your partner. Don't badmouth your partner to anyone! When you talk about your partner, let your respect and love shine through.

10. Find a way to regroup together every day. Discover what works well for you both... eat a meal together, meet for happy hour drinks, skip Leno at night and just lay in bed in the dark, take a walk around the block, etc. You can even mix things up and vary your routine. If one of you is travelling, call home at night just to hear their voice. The point is to spend time together daily, just talking or breathing the same air, feeling connected.

Remember... the more you put into your relationship, the more you gain! Make love and romance a part of your daily life!

*Credit to Suzette Gin of Multiply and photo credit to obscurity_n of deviantart.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Decoding Women's Words

They say women mostly doesn't mean what they say. Men often find this annoying or even confusing. To help out men, here's a few tips on how to decode women's use of words and what they really mean...

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

*Content credits to Suzette Gin of Multiply.

*Photo credit to DragonLarme of deviantart.

Monday, June 1, 2009

A Soulful Relationship

It's not easy to be in a relationship and to keep your love alive. But having a soulful relationship is essential as it requires both partners to love each other unconditionally. In a soulful relationship, love allows itself to grow and allowing each party to be who he/she is. It's not controlling nor manipulating.

Here's what Rev. Ronald McFadden's say about soulful relationship...

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.

*Photo credit to =Nowherexbutxhere of deviantart.

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