Monday, June 1, 2009

A Soulful Relationship

It's not easy to be in a relationship and to keep your love alive. But having a soulful relationship is essential as it requires both partners to love each other unconditionally. In a soulful relationship, love allows itself to grow and allowing each party to be who he/she is. It's not controlling nor manipulating.

Here's what Rev. Ronald McFadden's say about soulful relationship...

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.

*Photo credit to =Nowherexbutxhere of deviantart.


aLgene on June 4, 2009 at 12:48 AM said...

this is a very nice post.. :) and yes, the rev. fr. is right about what he has said..

kha on June 4, 2009 at 12:56 PM said...

agree to is indeed a good post, though i know some of facts/statements here it is more elaborated and more informative..nice post again..

glitter on June 4, 2009 at 5:23 PM said...

gee, this is a very informative post. I can relate to it

Joe-ann on June 5, 2009 at 3:12 PM said...

well said. Trust and Respect should always be at hand to make the relationship work. You need trust to keep your partner untied and respect for you to do it. Have a nice day.

Bill on June 6, 2009 at 1:36 AM said...

This is a excellent post my dear. i enjoyed reading every word of it. Have a great weekend.

eva on June 7, 2009 at 5:29 AM said...

thanks for sharing.


kashieca on June 11, 2009 at 4:30 AM said...

papakasal ka na ba? gusto ko yang african proverb na yan. hehe.

Crissy on June 11, 2009 at 4:17 PM said...

@kashieca: how i wish ikakasal na ako to the man i love. haha.


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