Be In Control

Here's an interesting post I found in facebook about men. I think this post has a sense in it that women should take into consideration in dealing with men. We should be more in control of ourselves and shouldn't be under control of someone else especially with men. And no, I'm not a man hater. Haha.

• If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
• If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
• Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
• Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
• Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
• Slower is better.
• Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
• If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
• A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
• If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
• Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
• You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
• The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
• Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
• He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
• Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
• Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
• If something bothers you, speak up.
• Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
• You cannot change a man's behavior.
• Change comes from within.
• Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
• Do not make him into a quasi-god.
• He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
• Never let a man define who you are.
• Never borrow someone else's man.
• If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
• A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
• All men are NOT dogs.
• You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
• You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...
• Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
• You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
• a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
• look for someone complimentary...
• not supplementary.
• Dating is fun...
• even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
• Make him miss you sometimes...
• when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
• Never move into his mother's house.
• Never co-sign for a man.
• Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
• Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...

I Need A Man Who Can't Be Moved

Isn't it flattering to know that your man is going to wait for you no matter what happens? He 's still inlove with you after years has passed. It may sound unrealistic but I think there's quite a number of them that exists. I need a man who can't be moved despite of his heartaches he's still hoping and waiting for me to come back. How mushy me! Haha. But that's what this song is about, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script.

The Caveman Response...

As a woman, I myself don't understand how men thinks. There are times that when we get into arguments with our partner, our boo will suddenly tell us they wanted space or perhaps they wanted some cool time off and worst is, they'll left you hanging then comes back. Of course for us, it's irritating, annoying and disrespectful for them to do it because we think we deserve an explanation. And if there are problems, we want to talk about it. But some guys just don't want that, they don't feel comfortable with confrontations. And so consciously or not, they withdraw.

Then they'll go to their cave to reflect. And I'm not referring literally to the cave, it's just a figure of speech. It's like they wanted to have time for themselves, do the things they want, be with their friends and just have some time to think things alone. It's their coping mechanism, I think if that's the appropriate word for that.

And if we keep on pushing in, forcing them to understand us, to talk things out and just ran after them, the more they'll keep their distance from us. The longer that they'll retreat. But if we understand this trait of them, the shorter they will be in their caves, the shorter they'll have time to think and most likely they'll appreciate the space you gave them and comes back to you.

Of course it is annoying if they do that. Come back to us like nothing happened. We deserve an explanation and what happens is, we confront them. And it may lead to another argument. The result is, either they won't come back the next time they cave in or they won't cave in because of fear that they'll be confronted again and worst is, if they don't have time to go to their caves...they tend to keep their emotions, concerns, frets and worries and there will come a time that they will just explode.

Hmm...it's easy to understand that but I know it's hard to do that. Therefore, "Patience is a virtue". Thanks to various books available to help us understand how men thinks.