Trusting Again...

Back in college, I learned that in our infancy stage, we develop TRUST. It's as simple as the form of crying when we were hungry or peed in our diapers that we get our parents' attention. And by their loving response of feeding us and of changing our diapers we learn to trust them.

But as we were growing, certain factors has affected our ability to trust people. Especially when we have been hurt, cheated and betrayed in the past that we learn to build a wall within ourselves to protect us from getting hurt again. But as I was watching Bo Sanchez's preach, I was inspired with his words of encouragement that we need to trust other people again carefully despite our trusting issues.

With that we'll learn to live our life fully and grow. In reality, people in our lives come and go. And there will always be some people who will betray us, cheat on us and even hurt us again. But there are also good people.

According to Bo, if you don't trust and risk getting hurt, you won't received blessings. Learn to open yourself to others, lower your defenses and learn to trust again. Life is a risk. Risking yourself of getting hurt again is the same as risking yourself to be loved again.


*Photo credit to *gabbyd70 of deviantart.

I Need A Man Who Can't Be Moved

Isn't it flattering to know that your man is going to wait for you no matter what happens? He 's still inlove with you after years has passed. It may sound unrealistic but I think there's quite a number of them that exists. I need a man who can't be moved despite of his heartaches he's still hoping and waiting for me to come back. How mushy me! Haha. But that's what this song is about, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script.

10 Habits of A Loving Couple

As a couple, getting used to being thoughtful, loving and caring with each other helps your relationship to grow. It is important for the couple to show each other their love and care for each other because we all need assurance and security from our partner.

According to Alanna Webb, romance is a way to express your love, the icing on the cake... but don't wait for special occasions to express your love. Make sure that you nurture your loving relationship by practicing these basic habits in your day-to-day life. These may seem very basic, but how many do you do? Don't despair... it's never too late to adopt good, loving habits.

1. Say 'I Love You' at least once a day. Your partner does need to hear the words.

2. Kiss good-bye and hello. Throw in a hug while you're at it.

3. 'Date' your partner for the rest of your lives. Treat your partner even better than when you were dating... Remember that you are sweethearts ~ * open her door * straighten his tie * hold out her chair * hold hands when you're walking together

4. Don't sweat the small stuff. You can let his/her bad habits bother you to distraction... or you can accept them, and work around them. Does she leave the cap off the toothpaste? Buy separate tubes... Does he leave clothes laying around? Ignore them, or pick them up, remembering just how much he does for you in other ways. Or, make it easier for your partner to satisfy you... buy several clothes hampers and keep them handy. ;-)

5. Concentrate on the positive. Instead of thinking about the ways that s/he lets you down, think of all the positive things about your partner that drew you to them in the first place.

6. Take a breather when you're mad. Don't try to talk when either of you are angry. Take a few minutes to walk around the block, lay down, just get away from each other so you can regroup. A short break will allow you both to stay on track and discuss what's bothering you instead of accidently making personal insults that you will regret later.

7. Don't use your partner's secrets or weaknesses against them... ever! What may seem insignificant, trivial, or cute to you may be serious to your partner. Recognize what is important to your partner, and don't discuss it with your friends, mother, his family, anyone! And certainly don't throw the words back at them in an argument. A loving relationship is one of the most intimate and trusting that anyone can have.

8. Think about your partner first. If both of you do this, then you can't help but win! Say 'yes' to your partner as often as possible... go to that sports event with him, get him out on that golf course because he loves golf, make life easier for your partner, and hopefully they will do the same for you!

9. R-E-S-P-E-C-T your partner. Don't badmouth your partner to anyone! When you talk about your partner, let your respect and love shine through.

10. Find a way to regroup together every day. Discover what works well for you both... eat a meal together, meet for happy hour drinks, skip Leno at night and just lay in bed in the dark, take a walk around the block, etc. You can even mix things up and vary your routine. If one of you is travelling, call home at night just to hear their voice. The point is to spend time together daily, just talking or breathing the same air, feeling connected.

Remember... the more you put into your relationship, the more you gain! Make love and romance a part of your daily life!

*Credit to Suzette Gin of Multiply and photo credit to obscurity_n of deviantart.

Decoding Women's Words

They say women mostly doesn't mean what they say. Men often find this annoying or even confusing. To help out men, here's a few tips on how to decode women's use of words and what they really mean...

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.


*Content credits to Suzette Gin of Multiply.

*Photo credit to DragonLarme of deviantart.

A Soulful Relationship

It's not easy to be in a relationship and to keep your love alive. But having a soulful relationship is essential as it requires both partners to love each other unconditionally. In a soulful relationship, love allows itself to grow and allowing each party to be who he/she is. It's not controlling nor manipulating.

Here's what Rev. Ronald McFadden's say about soulful relationship...

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life
together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.

*Photo credit to =Nowherexbutxhere of deviantart.

Secrets of A Successful Relationship

Maintaining a good relationship requires both partners to constantly work on it. Trials and shortcomings are part of the relationship and overcoming these help strengthen the relationship's foundation. But there are a lot of couples out there who wants to know the secrets of a successful relationship. And here are the tips I found on the internet.

The FIRST secret - the power of THOUGHT
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Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider his or her needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.

The SECOND secret - the power of RESPECT
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You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first Respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect, ask yourself, What do I respect about myself?
To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, What do I respect about them?

The THIRD secret - the power of GIVING
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If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To Love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship, ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The FOURTH secret - the power of FRIENDSHIP
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To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love him or her for who they are and not for what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The FIFTH secret - the power of TOUCH
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Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The SIXTH secret - the power of LETTING GO
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If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life.

The SEVENTH secret - the power of COMMUNICATION
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When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: " I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see him or her. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the
people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and why are you waiting?

The EIGHTH secret - the power of COMMITMENT
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If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the TRUE test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The NINTH secret - the power of PASSION
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Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be re-created by re-creating past experiences. When you felt passionate spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The TENTH secret - the power of TRUST
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Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you can trust him or her completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, Do I trust them completely and unreservedly? If the answer is no -, think carefully before making a commitment.


*Credit to Suzette Gin of Multiply.

The Caveman Response...

As a woman, I myself don't understand how men thinks. There are times that when we get into arguments with our partner, our boo will suddenly tell us they wanted space or perhaps they wanted some cool time off and worst is, they'll left you hanging then comes back. Of course for us, it's irritating, annoying and disrespectful for them to do it because we think we deserve an explanation. And if there are problems, we want to talk about it. But some guys just don't want that, they don't feel comfortable with confrontations. And so consciously or not, they withdraw.

Then they'll go to their cave to reflect. And I'm not referring literally to the cave, it's just a figure of speech. It's like they wanted to have time for themselves, do the things they want, be with their friends and just have some time to think things alone. It's their coping mechanism, I think if that's the appropriate word for that.

And if we keep on pushing in, forcing them to understand us, to talk things out and just ran after them, the more they'll keep their distance from us. The longer that they'll retreat. But if we understand this trait of them, the shorter they will be in their caves, the shorter they'll have time to think and most likely they'll appreciate the space you gave them and comes back to you.

Of course it is annoying if they do that. Come back to us like nothing happened. We deserve an explanation and what happens is, we confront them. And it may lead to another argument. The result is, either they won't come back the next time they cave in or they won't cave in because of fear that they'll be confronted again and worst is, if they don't have time to go to their caves...they tend to keep their emotions, concerns, frets and worries and there will come a time that they will just explode.

Hmm...it's easy to understand that but I know it's hard to do that. Therefore, "Patience is a virtue". Thanks to various books available to help us understand how men thinks.